December 2007

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Love

Loving is one of the hardest things to do. You cannot love half-hearted or only a little. If you really love you have to love unconditionally. That, however, means that you completely trust somebody other than yourself. It means that you learn to accept things you usually have a hard time dealing with. Loving is a risky business. It’s not a deal you can close and be happy about at the end of the day. It’s lifelong work, instead. And you never know whether you will win or lose in the end. So, why fall in love in the first place?

Because all the beauty this world has to offer lies in it …

Last night I asked a friend of mine whether she had had a good or a bad day. It was something in the middle, not bad but not exceptionally good either. And then I asked her about her very personal highlight and I realized she didn’t have one. In fact, she had never thought about having highlights at all.

Life is not easy. Most people would say it’s a very rough path we are running down which, as far as I am concerned, makes highlights even more necessary. Now you may be wondering what such a highlight actually is. It can be anything! It can be a good cup of coffee you take your time to enjoy, it can be a child smiling at you or a good chat with one of your friends. It can also be a feeling or a thought you have which has the capacity to keep you going and give you strength. It’s up to every single one to decide what they consider their highlight.

Just, don’t let another day pass without something special crossing your way. A day without a personal highlight is a waste and will be forgotten immediately.

You may be emotionally wrecked. You may feel the rain pouring down on you hurting your skin like millions of needles. You may have nobody to smile at you. Emptiness and loneliness may leave nothing but a bitter taste on your lips.

There is one thing, though, that will always be with you – that will always try to make your life a little brighter and the end of your tunnel a little lighter. This one thing is a good piece of music. There may be this one song that makes you stop right there and reflect upon your day and the path you have been walking. This song may revolve around everything you are going through, it may actually tell your story. Listening to it everything becomes clear and you finally know what you have to do: just breathe!

And then move on, one step after the other …

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Do you know that feeling? It’s Sunday evening and you are full of Monday’s resolutions. You are pushing millions of thoughts around. If your neural system was a bunch of people a hell of a party would be going on up there. First of all, you swear to quit eating so much late at night. No more sandwiches, no more chips and, of course, no more chocolate. You are 26 years old (in my case, at least ;-) ) and you can already see the traces all that crap is leaving on your body which is definitely not OK. You also tell yourself you’ll be going to the gym first thing in the morning, every single day! Oh, and there is this thing at work you would like to do but usually don’t have time to because a whole lot of other things are constantly crossing your way! Next thing on your list: Get down to do all the “I-finally-have-to-take-care-of-that-at-work-thing” things that have been piling up over a couple of months (years???).

It feels great, doesn’t it? All the motivation and enthusiasm you are filled up with at that very moment. It’s good to fall asleep knowing what is awaiting you the next day! A world of changes!

The alarm is ringing. Of course, you confuse it with some weird noise messing with your dream and you wonder why Mister Right is wearing a clock on his head. Oh, right! Alarm! Wake up! You hit the button to shut that thing up. It’s 5.40 in the morning. The “first-thing-in-the-morning” gym opens up at 6. You should get going if you want to be able to do that before you have to go to work. By the way, why is it so dark outside? Oh, right! It’s winter and the sun won’t come up for another one and a half hours. Your man is snuggling up in this great big blanket, which offers so much more safety than the cold and nasty weather outside. Maybe you should go to the gym right after work, before lunch. So, you sleep in a little. You are five minutes late at work but that’s OK since you stayed a little longer on Friday anyway. There it is! That pile of “hasn’t-been-touched-yet” work. You are all ready but then your colleague tells you to do this and that, your boss comes in and has a thousand questions, and all those phone calls to answer. It’s noon. You have been satisfying other people’s needs all morning long without ever being able to deal with your stuff! Of course, you don’t go to the gym at noon either because you got PMS. The afternoon passes by without anything worth mentioning. At night, your boyfriend makes dinner. Now guess, what are you going to get? Since it’s cold and unfriendly outside a bowl of muesli won’t do for sure. Toast bread, scrambled eggs and a couple of mini sandwiches – that’s what you get! Yummy!, but not even close to Monday’s resolutions. When he goes to get some chocolate (it’s December, no wonder people have got chocolate at home around holiday time) you finally give in!

Maybe it would be better to start tomorrow. So you go to bed with a great deal of Tuesday’s resolutions spinning in your head!

All I can say is Good Luck! Or, don’t take life so seriously! You won’t get out alive anyway! ;-)

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